Embracing Your Life Design
We are this kind of beings: we seek to be encouraged but the truth is, we murder our minds half of our lives. We check social media and idolize the icons because they are everything we are not and we try to live like how we perceive they do but we find ourselves not even close to their carefully curated Instagram page.
Think about this: my husband worships me. And by worship, I mean not just in bed, (though he does that too) he worships me in the laundry room because 5 loads washed, dried, folded and stashed in the closet isn’t easy. He worships me in the gym because I can squat more than my body weight. He worships me in the kitchen because I cook the best beef stew. The kids and their friends who drop by for a play date pushes me to compete in Masterchef Canada because hey, “your rice tastes amazing!”. I’m also putting it in my resume that I’m the world’s best seeker of missing socks and lost hair ties. I can print my husband’s resume off of my phone (because he can’t) and find where my kids left off the tv remote.
You see, I have super powers nobody has! But in desperate times, when I’m alone at night, overwhelmed by my to do list, I sabotage my joy by recalling all my failures and focusing on them like a magnifying lens burning the paper. I find juggling life and self-employment too hard to balance that I have to run one over to make room for the other. I feel like I need a “normal” life. One lived by everybody else. One that is not messy and full.
But I know I don’t want to live normal. I know that for sure because on top of self-employment, being an immigrant far from her comfort zone, and being a mom of 3 kids (one of which is still a breastfeeding toddler), I still am looking at making my life even harder by actually “considering” homeschooling.
So, after I cry myself so hard because of all the anxieties and self-doubt, I get back up in the morning and work on being empowered. I start on a clean slate, remember my cause and do it as I see myself doing it. I have to remind myself over and over that this, chaos and crazy altogether, is what makes our lives worth living.
I am unapologetic, even proud as one might say, of my life design.
I am letting go of my victim mindset. The mindset that whenever I get to an unfortunate situation or made the wrong decision, I feel like the world is a joke and fate is making a fool of me. Rather, I wanna come from a place of forgiveness, acceptance, and bliss.